Lily and I live in the middle of nowhere. I am sitting on my front porch tonight as I do every night. My coffee tastes great with the cool air around me. I think it is colder in the country and I have no idea if that is possible or a fact archived somewhere on NOAA’s website, or just psychological on my part. It is cool and quiet; other than the sounds that come with living in the woods.
The stars get brighter as it gets darker. There are beautiful clusters of stars that congregate in the sky behind me. I refuse to move the location of my chair so I just turn my head around and look up. I smile every time. The constellations are breathtaking. I really wish I had kept that map that came with Lily’s nightlight, firefly, that projects constellations on her bedroom ceiling at night. Lily said we need a book and I totally agree.
The first night I sat out here, I heard owls having deep conversations with each other. I listened to every word. The next night two deer walked out from the woods, crossed the deserted road, and walked through my yard. I didn’t move. I couldn’t believe it.
Let’s not forget all the shooting stars I saw the first night. Holy cow. My head was whipping left and right and back again. Shooting stars?! It’s not like I haven’t seen them before but never so many in a row.
The north star. I stare at this one star, I think it is a star, every night that is by far the brightest. It sits there and stares back. I think of all the things it could be like an airplane tower with a light on top or an antennae. It seems to drift to slowly drift to the right. Do stars move or just hang out in place? No idea. Maybe it is the north star or simply a dot in the sky. Now that makes me giggle to myself.
I am relaxed. My brain slows down. I inhale the cool air through my nose and out my mouth. I feel less anxiety and my body calms down. It is peaceful. This is the life I wanted for Lily and I. The journey to get where we are now was so agonizing but we are here now. Forever.